the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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