I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
