You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize