Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
