Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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