i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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