Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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