your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize