Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize