I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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