also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
