wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Bring me that man meat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
