I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
North Korea, Best Korea!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize