This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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