haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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