I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You may now shotgun with the bride
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
