she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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