You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize