But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
