Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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