Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
