I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
