Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
