I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You ruined the universe
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
