I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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