Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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