he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
