No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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