I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
