every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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