But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
