I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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