She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
