if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
