I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just gargled with NyQuil
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
