It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
