Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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