Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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