I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
