at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
