I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
