The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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