five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
