I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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