things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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