Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
