im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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