whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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