It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
