I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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