the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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