lets start a swedish sibling band together
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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