I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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