This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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