Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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