thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
