I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
