I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
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It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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