Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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