It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
