fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
