I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
