you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
