yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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