I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
