Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
be right there i have to get my cape
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
