this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's a naked man in my car right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
