I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
