You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
